The Films that Made me

See the full list on Letterboxd.

I've always been fascinated by films--the worlds they can take us to, the perspectives they help us see and understand, the powerful themes that help us learn and grow. Here is a list of a few of the films, in no particular order, that altered my worldview, grew up with me, or influenced me as a creator.

Starting strong with Wim Wenders' most recent work, Perfect Days (2023). The simplicity of this film, especially its repetitious mundanity, deeply touched me. The cinematography and editing are, of course, beautiful; this is a Wenders film, after all, but the technical aspects of the film aren't the only thing that deeply touched me — it was the story. Having grown up with a dad who also had a work van and a deep affinity for music (esp Van Morrison), the storyline made me see a huge part of myself in a culture, career, and man who are/is fundamentally different from me. This is the beauty of the film for me...that its message can reach deep into the fundamental humanity of us all, the aspirations and hopes combined with the passions and repetitive routines that make up our daily lives. It blew my mind as the credits rolled and tears streamed down my face that I felt so deeply seen, connected to, and enriched by a story of a Tokyo Toilet worker who reminded me simultaneously of my dad, whom I deeply love, and myself.

"Next time is next time. Now is now." - Hirayama

Check out a preview of the film here. Also, check out the official soundtrack provided by Mubi on Spotify. (Ok are you gonna watch the film now??? Pls!!!)

Ok, ok, I'm gonna be honest, when I first saw Howl's Moving Castle (2004), I had no idea what anime was, much less what Studio Ghibli was or even who Miyazaki was, all I knew was that I was fascinated. In all likelihood, I was probably 5-6 years old when I first saw this film. Howl's suave and dramatics instilled within me an immediate childhood crush that, to be honest, still lingers today (lol). I didn't actually get to see it in its original Japanese until I was in my 20s. To say the viewing experience was changed and enhanced is an understatement. Seeing it subbed rather than dubbed changed my perspective of the story completely and deepened my love for the beauty of the story and the film. This goes without saying, but the visuals and atmosphere are insane in this! Miyazaki and his team are geniuses! These, combined with some of Miyazaki's favorite themes of anti-war, romance, and even some environmentalism, culminate to create a timeless story that never fails to reach the hearts of its viewers.

"I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful...." - Howl

Check out a preview of the film here. And for the love of all things holy, if you don't know what Studio Ghibli is or have never watched this film, this is YOUR SIGN, fair warning, once you start, there's no turning back!!!!

Zhang Yimou's To Live (1994), was the first international film I remember watching distinctly because of its international-ness. I was 19 years old, and I was watching it as part of my intro to film college class. The film spans a period of about 30 years during/through the Chinese Civil War, Great Leap Forward, and the Cultural Revolution (see more on Wikipedia's page). The story follows a family, particularly the father of this family, Fugui, as he (and they) grapple with 'living' during the often climactic, tragic, and tumultuous conditions of the war and subsequent revolution. To say I got a crash course in Chinese history watching this would be an understatement. This film was one of the first films that helped me see beyond my own cultural biases and recognize the shared humanity in us all. I left this film deeply, deeply changed. I was never gonna go back to a Hollywood/American Cinema-Only diet ever again. It should be noted that due to it's critical nature on Chinese policies, history, and government, this film was banned from a theatrical release in China (all the more reason to watch IMO).

Little Bun: [playing with chickens] When will they grow up?

Xu Jiazhen: Very soon.

Little Bun: And then?

Xu Fugui: And then... the chickens will turn into geese... and the geese will turn into sheep... and the sheep will turn into oxen.

Little Bun: And after the oxen?

Xu Fugui: After oxen...

Xu Jiazhen: After oxen, Little Bun will grow up.

Little Bun: I want to ride on an ox's back.

Xu Jiazhen: You will ride on an ox's back.

Xu Fugui: Little Bun won't ride on an ox... he'll ride trains and planes... and life will get better and better.

If you'd like to watch the film, there's a free version on YouTube here.

Ok, dear reader, perhaps you have read through most of this blog post so far and thought, "Does Sydney only like Asian-related cinema?" No dear reader, I do not only love Asian-related cinema, though I do have a deep affinity for it! Here is a non-Asian film, incidentally from the same year as the one above, that holds a special place in my heart: Gillian Armstrong's Little Women (1994). This is one of those films that carries with it a warm deep rooted nostalgia that never fails to spring up old childhood memories of watching this film growing up. In a sense, this is one of the films that makes me feel truly like I'm home, back into the innocence of my 6-year-old self wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. Its themes of feminism helped me, a fellow female-identifying person, feel like I too could be anything I wanted to be, in addition to finding love and romance. Ahh how I love this film.

"Oh, Jo. Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life? You're ready to go out and - and find a good use for your talent. Tho' I don't know what I shall do without my Jo. Go, and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things come of it." - Mrs. March (aka Susan Sarandon!)

See a preview of the film here. For the film cinephile or intellectual, consider watching this film and then watching Gerwig's 2019 adaptation of the film. I thoroughly enjoyed contrasting the differences in filmic choices, especially in the editing, production design, and casting. Don't compare to decide the best adaptation; compare to see the beauty of filmmaking in finding multiple creative ways to express powerful stories and messages. (This is my Intro to Film TA background coming out tehe)

"Wait a second", you'll say, "Didn't it say in Sydney's bio that you'd find her watching a documentary? Where are all the documentaries at?" Hehe, never fear, dear reader, I wouldn't leave you hanging like that! Here is one of the first documentaries I watched and left saying to myself, "Maybe documentaries aren't lame and boring after all..." The documentary is called Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt (1989). This documentary focuses on the AIDS epidemic in the '80s and the giant protest launched on the steps of the capital in Washington via a gigantic quilt with the names of the AIDS victims. It largely critiques the US government's lack of action to fight back against AIDS due to the predominance of the disease in gay men. I credit this film, and many others with it, for forming the roots of my LGBTQ+ allyship. Even watching the trailer to this film will bring tears to your eyes. Safe to say you will not leave unchanged after viewing this film.

"It took Rock Hudson's death to capture America's attention. By that time, AIDS had already killed 15 thousand of other Americans. Rock Hudson is the most famous name in the giant quilt, a memorial to ten thousand names of men, women and children who came along very different roads to the same fate." - Narrator

See the preview for this film here.

These are only 5 of the 137 films (and growing) that have made me. To see the rest, visit the Letterboxd link above.

Watching films is more than a passive experience for me; instead, it is a deeply personal, humble, and profound action. I hope you, too, can experience the power of film in your life.

please excuse any writing errors! I write this blog not for academic prowess or acclaim but for my own enjoyment and passion.